#but I have ALWAYS wanted to write about athletes' bodies and their like y'know... Relationship with it and trust issues and... Stuff

[bucket-girl]

Chapter 2-1 Personal Info logs

In chapter 2, it’s possible to buy the personal info of Nao, Reko, Gin and Q-Taro with tokens, but it’s easy to miss. Reloading saves and redoing minigames is a hassle so I wrote them down for convenience. Most of them are in the form of conversing with AIs, I’ve put Sara’s lines in italics. Text under cut.

Gin > History ...History? What should I talk about, woof? "Hm... Just an introduction would make me happy." Gin Ibushi from Heiwa Elementary Class 6-3! I'm 12 years old, meow! I take care of the animals, meow!! "Is school fun for you?" Hmm... It's not that fun 'cause of some guys I don't like, meow. But it's fun to meet friends, woof! We play games together, meooow! "Do you wear that outfit to school, too?" Nah, because people get mad. It's only when I'm at home, woof! ...It's kinda easier to talk when I wear this, meow. But I can't wear it to school, so I get uneasy, woof. So people at school tell me I'm obedient, woof! But that's wrong... meow... My aspirations are to live with animals all the time, meow! "Heehee... What kinds of animals?" I'm way into gators right now, meow! They're cute, wooooof!

> Physical Info I'm 138 centimeters and 35.5 kilograms, meow! That's 4 foot 6 inches and 78 pounds, woof! And I grew 2 centimeters at my last checkup, meow! "Your growth spurt and voice change must be coming up soon." Obviously, meow! I'm gonna be bigger than you, big sis Sara! "Ahaha, I'm sure you'll look really cool. I've got high hopes for you." Yeah! I'll sweep you off your feet, meow! Be grateful, woof! "Okay, let's make it a promise." Got it, meow! A promise for when I outgrow you, woof!

> Relatives My family's a double-income household, meow! I don't have siblings, so... It's lonely when I'm there by myself, meow... My mom's super nice even when she's exhausted, woof. No matter how late she gets home, she always makes dinner... And no matter how much I tell her not to overwork herself... "Do you like your mom?" I love her, meow! I'm worried how she's even busier lately, woof... "What about your dad?" I don't like some things... but I like him, meow. But I super hate when he's a drunkard who causes trouble, meow! It's embarrassing, woof! And he's always getting yelled at by mom and apologizing, so it's like he's got no dignity, woof. I don't wanna be that kind of pathetic grown-up, meooow! ...But I'm sure I won't, meow. 'Cause I'm not blood-related to dad, woof. "Huh...?" I heard he married mom when I was 2, meow! So that genetics stuff won't make me turn out like him, woof! "Is that so...?" Well, it's not like I hate dad, woof. It's true, meow!

> Death Game info I dunno, meow... It's scary, woof... What's dying feel like, meow...? "I... don't know either." I don't wanna never meet mom and dad again, meow... Big sis Sara... are you scared too, meow? "...Yeah, I am." "...Really scared..." .......... I'll definitely protect you, meow! Come see me anytime, woof! "Heehee... Thanks..."

> What he holds dear What I hold dear...? That's hard, meowww. Hm... It's gotta be mom and dad, meow! I'd be sad if they went away, woof! Ah! And the Mew-chan cushion I'm always with! They're super precious to me, meow! We're always together, so I forgot, meow! Sorry, Mew-chaaan! Woof... "Mew-chan is family to you too, huh?" That's right, meow! I got seriously mad when dad was gonna throw them away, meow! Unforgivable, woof! Get me a new one?! No way, meow!! You're a dummy, woof! I'm getting furious just remembering, woof! Mom should yell at him again, meowww!

Q-Taro > History I was raised up in an orphanage that's just a mite bit weird. Had people from all sortsa countries. I got a lotta dialects and stuff mixed in me... 'Course, they sent me to compulsory education up 'til high school. Can't thank the place enough. An' now, I'm a pro baseball player. ...Kiddos at the orphanage root for me, too. I wanna hurry up and show 'em... That even guys in situations like ours can get on a mound and have the stadium roarin'... Well, point is, I got no history yet. I'm about to be makin' some radiant records! Better get yer autographs early, Sara!

> Physical Info 6 foot 4 inches! 230 pounds! And lemme tell ya, it's all muscle, not fat! My position's pitcher, but I got confidence in my batting, base-running, and fielding! But my greatest weapon's my head. Gotta be smart to be a first-class athlete. "Is that how it is?" 'Course, I'm reflecting on the time I tore apart those puzzle rings by force, but...

> Relatives .......... "Is it hard to discuss?" Nah... there's just nothing to discuss. 'Cause I've never seen my birth parents' faces. Only place I knew was the orphanage. That's why... the people there were my moms and dads. Doesn't matter our blood relation. But, well... I do get thinkin' sometimes. What kinda people was I born to, and what kinda genetics do I got...? I started baseball jus' for fun, but... I've thought how if I pitch as a first-string pro... maybe my birth parents'll be watchin'. "...Do you want to meet them?" If we could talk and laugh it up, that'd be the best. All at ease, like "I'm havin' a great life"...

> Death Game info Huh, you're doin' this Death Game, right...? Knowin' me, I doubt I got even the slightest notion of dyin'. Hell, to a second-stringer, baseball's a Death Game with my life as a player on the line! But to do some self-analysis... I wonder if maybe I'll try an' win within the rules of the game... In the saga of a sports player, ya tend to forget about breakin' the rules. Maybe somebody like you, young and not knowin' fear, is more suited to findin' a path to survival. "...Is that so..." ...Sorry to make it sound like it ain't my business. I mean look, I'm an AI, y'know?

> What he holds dear Hold dear, huh... The caretakers at the orphanage, the kiddos... Of course, baseball, and... Myself... probably. I ain't gonna sugarcoat it. I don't wanna die, and I don't want the people I like to die. So I don't like to kick people... But if I gotta, I got the resolve. But I hate the kinda asshole who's got that as their first thought! ...Sorry for gettin' all fired up. Shouldn't have said that all cocky-like when you're involved in it... Don't you mind me.

Reko > History Err... I'mma super cool, 23-year-old singer-songwriter... Something like that? I've liked music since I was a kid. Classical, folk, heavy metal... I listened to all of it. Think around grade school, I found myself starting to compose and write lyrics. My instincts moved my body. That was a fun time... People praised me, and my parents were just plain happy... Once they started calling me a gifted kid... Then there started being more noise. Old bastards in the music industry wanting money... My pops craving the limelight... Before I knew it, I was making music that my heart wasn't in. In middle school, I rebelled. I was a rocker! I made tons of songs nobody even wanted! But even then, noise swarmed around me. Man, even my spirit had to give in. From high school on, all the spice was gone... Didn't even have anger... My activity dried up. I had tons of chances to be famous. But I smashed 'em all. I was totally just the industry's problem child. Everybody kept their distance from me. Once I couldn't even gather members, I borrowed Alice to make a band... Hahaha. Then two and a half years ago... He caused that incident... ... Well, at any rate, I am who I am now 'cause of that shitty past. Learn something from that, Sara?

> Physical Info 5 foot 7, 121 pounds. Pretty proud of my reflexes! And I can remember choreography in a snap, so... My memory's bangin'! Well... I'm not great at baseball and stuff... Hell, maybe I'm not great at anything that's got nothing to do with music. "By the way, what are your measurements?" N-No reason to tell you that, right?

> Relatives Family... Well, uh... ...I like my mom. Though she's a little weird. She's affectionate... and I cause her lots of trouble. Yeah, I gotta show my appreciation more. My old man... Well, he's a good guy... But let's say he gives in to temptation. He's not the most true to his convictions. I hated him for the longest time... But he's woken up now, and gone back to his plain and simple personality. After them is... Alice, huh. He's... what should I say? Why'd he do something like that...? A while after he got arrested... I left music Ahh... I just remembered. At the time, I wrote in my diary, which is rare... I wrote that music, the thing I'd poured my soul into all this time... suddenly felt like a cold series of notes... this inorganic thing. I wondered, was this how music sounded to people who didn't care about it...? ......... I always thought I didn't care about my brother, and never listened to him, but... Truth is... Maybe I was a little jealous of my normal brother. And acted that way out of spite. ... ...You shouldn't ever murder somebody...

> Death Game info Why do I gotta go through this shit...? Do we have anything in common...? I haven't got a clue...

> What she holds dear Believe it or not... I think family's important, right? I wanna show appreciation to my parents. But like, right now... The original me is being put through this Death Game, yeah? If she dies, she can't do... anything. So when you think of it like that, what's important's my own life, ain't it? "...What about your instruments?" Instruments...? "When I first met Reko... I heard she treasured her bongos." Bongos...? Well, sure. I'm playing bongos in my new band, but...

Nao Unlike the others, Nao's personal info comes as documents you can read wherever. > History Egasaki Elementary School ... Graduated Egasaki Middle School ... Graduated Third Kurotsuki Private High School ... Graduated Takesasa Private College of Art ... Currently 1st year Middle-class, born and raised by a very ordinary family. School grades below average. Focused on art starting in high school, and now seems interested in pursuing only that. Looks up to an art club advisor she met in high school, staying deeply intimate with him even post-graduation. Often seen going to the man's atelier. Doesn't appear to have many friends, but has a long association with most she does have, so it's suspected she values relationships. Also, refrains from going out at night, generally staying at home even on days off. No information known on what men she associates with.

> Physical info Nao Egokoro Age: 19 Gender: Female Height: 162cm (5'4") Weight: 55kg (121lb) Has little experience in sports and the like, limited to P.E. classes in compulsory education. Even so, her reflexes are poor. Perhaps due to her inclination toward art, she has very good eyesight. Her ability to remember a scene for a long time or recognize the individual flaps of a bird's wings is within reason, yet superb. Since much of this comes from practice, about the only thing that can be called a born talent, it is thought, is her passionate love for art. No other notable characteristics, although she has a large bust. (Sara will remark that the last line is harassment and tear it out)

> Relatives Born to a middle-class, extremely average family. Both parents are in good health. Having good relations with them, her situation is common yet happy. The father has been an office worker for 20 years. The mother has carried various jobs. No siblings. The father is under his wife's thumb. When they fight, it appears Nao Egokoro often defends her father to resolve the conflict.

> Death Game info Safely cleared the First Trial. Survived the first Main Game. Greatly affected mentally by death of her teacher. Took off with teacher's head and ran amok. This could be taken as mental weakness, but endurance of great shock could make her that much more mentally sturdy going forward.

> What she holds dear Most likely, Nao Egokoro treasures the artworks she has created, and brushes et al. received from her high school teacher. Due to minimal desire for money, she does not seem the type to want expensive things.

[sweetlysilent]

Things Change

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x Reader

Description: Everyone thought you and Harrison were perfect, marriage goals even, but in reality you were just a ghost to his future. 

Warnings: Swearing, heartbreak

Word Count: 2.8k

Song Rec: Ghost Of You - 5 Seconds of Summer

A/N: I originally had a really great idea of how I wanted this to turn out, but when I started writing it I changed it a ton, so this is the end result. I still like it though, but I feel like I could've done better. It's also super late and I'm tired soo I hope you enjoy! xx

Things change. People change.

He just wished he had seen it sooner, maybe then, he wouldn't be in the situation he was currently in right now.

It had been like any other day, you were at Harrison's apartment, basically your second home, you had moved in about a year ago, making things between the two of you even more official.

You had woken up before him like usual, so you decided to cook up one of your famous breakfast in bed for the two of you, the aroma of bacon and eggs filling up the kitchen, as your stomached growled.

Cooking had always been your thing, you thought of it as an expressive outlet, a way to show just how much love can really go into food and how you can tell a difference if it's made with love or not.

That should of been the first red flag.

You quietly made your way down the hallway to the bedroom, a faint smile on your lips as you pushed open the door with your foot gently, seeing Harrison still asleep.

You carefully walked over to the bed, setting the tray down on the nightstand next to the bed, before leaning over and pressing a kiss to Harrison's cheek.

"Haz." You murmured, running your fingers through his hair as he stirred a bit, a tired moan leaving his lips causing you to smile.

"I made breakfast, your favorite, but I mean, if you don't want it I'll gladly take it off your hands and put it with mine, more for me." You teased him, you voice light as you spoke, seeing his eyes peak open slightly, a small smile on his lips.

"Don't you dare." He mumbled, his voice a bit husky as he rubbed his eyes, slowly sitting up to lean back against the headboard.

You let out a small laugh, before grabbing the tray and placing it in his lap, before doing the same for yourself.

"I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I love it, and I love you darling, so thank you." Harrison smiled in adoration, he was so in love with you, anyone that took one glance at him would see that.

You leaned over and pecked his lips, before you both dove into the breakfast you had made.

It was quiet while you both ate, too busy shoveling in the food to your eager stomachs, but while Harrison ate, he couldn't help but feel something was off.

Normally when you cooked he would see your eyes bright and full of life and happiness, thus resulting in the food to taste like a five course meal, because it had that much love in it.

However, this time it was different, your eyes didn't hold that same spark like he was used to, instead they held a dull, gloomy expression, which showed in your cooking, it lacked the love and passion.

But, he brushed it off, thinking maybe you were just having a bad day, so he didn't speak of it, letting the day continue on.

You both spent the rest of the morning laying in bed, just talking and occasionally having a few kissing sessions here and there.

Everything was good, at least to him it was.

Around noon you had gone out, telling Harrison that you needed to go to the store to pick up a few things, that you'd be back in about an hour or so.

Of course, he didn't think anything of it, you went to the store all the time, so why would this be any different?

You both were in a committed relationship, you both loved each other to infinity and back, so why did he suddenly feel so anxious this time?

He tried to shake the feeling off by going to the gym, texting Tom along the way to see if he wanted to join him, which of course Tom agreed to, not ever passing down the opportunity to work out.

Tom was walking down the street to the gym, his phone in his one hand and his athletic bag in the other as he made his way down the sidewalk.

He looked up for a brief second to hit the button on the light pole so he could cross the street, waiting a few seconds before the green man showed up, signaling he could walk.

He clicked his phone off, not wanting to be distracted in case someone decided to run the red light, which people had done before in the past.

Once he had safely crossed the street he decided to leave his phone in his pocket, wanting to enjoy the scenery around him instead.

He continued down the street while observing his surroundings, a feeling of content washing over him, until his eyes landed on you.

Tom's brows furrowed immediately, Harrison had said you had gone to the store to pick up some things, but this clearly wasn't the store, you were walking out of a coffee shop.

Tom was now standing stiffly on the other side of the street, his eyes fixated on you as you took a sip from your cup, a smile on your face as a guy came up from behind you, making you gasp and turn around in his arms.

Tom was baffled, he couldn't believe what he was seeing with his two eyes right before him.

There, across the street from him was you, with a different guy, a guy that wasn't Harrison.

Tom watched as you let out a loud laugh, your body radiating with happiness as the guy looked down at you in pure fascination and adoration.

Tom's jaw clenched as he saw you with this mysterious guy, maybe you had an explanation for this, maybe he was an old friend that you were meeting up with that you hadn't seen in a while, by this point Tom was trying to come up with any solution.

That was until he saw the one thing he wished he hadn't, his fists clenching in anger as he witnessed you and the mystery guy kissing.

All his excuses flew out the window instantly as he watched you, his mind clouding with anger before he even had time to realize what he was doing, and before he knew it he was standing right in front of you, fuming.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Tom shouted, his eyes flickering between yours and the guys.

"T-Tom! H-Hey! What's up? What're you doing here?" You questioned, your voice laced with nerves as you glanced up at him.

"That's funny, I should ask you the same thing, y'know since you're supposed to be at the store and all." Tom snapped at you, a disgusted expression on his face.

You didn't have the courage to meet his eyes, too ashamed of yourself, your bottom lip quivering.

"Who the hell are you even anyways?" Tom directed his question to the guy standing next to you, clearly confused on what was going on.

"I'm Chase, Y/N's boyfriend." He introduced himself, sticking his hand out for Tom to shake, but he didn't budge, too infuriated that you even had the nerve to cheat on Harrison.

You hesitantly glanced up at Tom, already seeing he was looking at you, making you want to crawl even more into a hole and disappear forever.

You let out a shaky breath, attempting to regain your composure as you rolled your shoulders back.

"Hey babe, why don't I call you later yeah?" You mumbled to Chase, a weak smile on your lips as he gave a slight nod in response, still not one hundred percent understanding what was going on.

He leaned down, pressing a kiss to your cheek before taking off in the other direction, leaving you alone with Tom.

"You can't tell him." You pleaded as you faced him, earning a scoff from Tom in response.

"How could you do this to him? You've been together for three years Y/N! Three fucking years! To think he was about to ask you to marry him, I'm sure as hell glad I found this out now, because there's no way in hell that'd I'd let him marry you now." Tom spat at you, his face red, his words dripping with venom as he stared you down.

Your heart sunk at his words, tears welling up in your eyes at the mention of marriage.

You and Harrison had always talked about the big day, how it'd be set up, who you'd both invite, where you'd want it to take place, everything.

"H-He was going to ask me to marry him?" You whispered, a tear escaping your eye as it slid down your cheek.

"He was. But not anymore. I won't let him. He doesn't deserve this." Tom shook his head, his arms uncrossing as he bent down to pick up his athletic bag.

You felt your body go into panic mode as Tom started to walk away from you, causing you to quickly chase after him, now once again standing in his path.

"He can't find out, not like this, please Tom. Let me be the one to tell him, he at least deserves that." You begged, your eyes pleading for Tom to at least give you this.

"Fine. I'm going to meet up with him right now at the gym, so once we're done and he comes home, you better tell him, or else I will." Tom stated, before walking off, leaving you alone, something you didn't know you could hate so much, but was your own doing.

[…]

You waited anxiously for Harrison to come back home that day, you paced the apartment so much you could of sworn your feet dug a path in the wood flooring.

After what felt like eternity, you heard the all too familiar jingling of keys, before the door opened, revealing a sweaty Harrison.

"Hey darling, how was the store?" Harrison questioned, setting down his gym bag before making his way over to you, a smile on his lips as he gave you a soft kiss, something that warmed his heart every time.

"Uhm, Haz, there's something I actually need to talk to you about." You whispered, watching his brows furrow in confusion, causing your heart to ache.

"I didn't actually go to the store," You confessed as you held his hand in yours, your thumb rubbing over his gently as you let out a shaky breath, "I-I was with another guy, his name is Chase." You choked out, a tear slipping down your cheek as Harrison stared at you in shock.

Had he heard you correctly?

"What are you talking about Y/N? Is this some sort of sick joke?" Harrison all but yelled, his heart shattering at your deflating expression.

"I'm so sorry Harrison." You cried, watching as Harrison's face changed with many emotions.

He ripped his hand out of yours, feeling betrayed and disgusted as he turned around, his heart beating rapidly.

"You know what the sad part about this whole thing is?" He let out a broken laugh, turning back around to your broken figure.

"I knew something was different about you, you had started acting distant, you changed the passcode on your phone, you'd get random texts during the day which would make you smile, you'd leave at different times of the day to go out and wouldn't come back for a few hours." Harrison counted off thing after thing, everything now making sense to him.

"Even with today, you were off, you made breakfast, but even that wasn't the same, and you want to know why? Because there was no love in it." Harrison choked out, his eyes becoming watery as he looked at you.

"I-I didn't want you to find out like this. Tom made me-"

"Wait What? Tom made you? So you were never going to tell me in the first place until he what? He caught you?" Harrison yelled, rage quickly overtaking his body as you shook your head frantically.

"I was going to tell you! I swear! I just couldn't ever find the right time and-"

"And what? You thought you could just drop that on me and that I'd be okay with it?" Harrison laughed bitterly, running his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"No! God Harrison would you let me fucking speak for once?" You shouted at him, getting frustrated that he wouldn't even let you explain.

"Fine. Explain to me why I wasn't good enough. Tell me why you felt the need to have to cheat on me Y/N." Harrison stated sarcastically, earning an eyeroll from you as you let out a huff.

And the truth was, you didn't know why you cheated on him, Harrison was the perfect guy to you, he was everything you could have ever wanted in a partner, as a husband.

"I-I don't know why I did it.." Your voice trailed off, as Harrison snickered in response.

"Do you seriously think I'm going to believe that bullshit? We've been together for three years Y/N, I know you better than anyone." Harrison counteracted, his arms crossed as he glared at you.

Your hands were now shaking, tears were falling down your cheeks relentlessly, your heart aching at the words leaving his lips.

"To think I was actually about to propose to you." Harrison shook his head, rubbing his face with his hands as he let out a broken laugh.

"I guess the only good thing is I found this out now before I made the biggest mistake of my life." Harrison admitted, watching as your face fell at his words, causing his heart to break even more, he still loved you, even after what you did.

"Harrison, I love you." You tried to express how you felt, but Harrison wasn't having it, he was done with your lies.

"Maybe you do, maybe you don't, I don't really know anymore Y/N. I thought I knew you, but in reality you're just a stranger to me now, I don't even know who you are anymore." Harrison admitted, a tear falling down his cheek as he wiped it away in frustration.

You were about to say something else, but Harrison lifted his hand up, his eyes closed as he took a deep breath.

"I want you to leave. Pack you stuff and get out." He whispered, not daring to open his eyes, not being able to witness the expression on your face or else he'd cave.

Your mouth fell open, eyes going wide as he stood there, not taking back what he said.

You so desperately wanted to walk over to him, to wrap your arms around his figure, but you knew you couldn't, you knew what you had done had destroyed the one good thing in your life.

So, after a few minutes of just standing there, you made your way around the apartment, packing up your personal belongings, before there was nothing of yours left, except maybe a few things here or there that you wanted him to keep.

After carrying the last box out into the hallway, you stood in the kitchen, your fingers fiddling with they key as you let out a deep breath.

You lifted your head up to meet Harrison's eyes, a shattered expression on his face as he held his hand out for the key, his eyes closing once he felt the cold metal in his hand.

He stayed like that until he heard the door shut, before reopening his eyes, you nowhere to been seen.

He wasn't sure if he felt relived by the fact that you actually did what he said, or if he felt alone, not having you by his side anymore.

He sunk down to the floor, his head leaning back against the wood cabinets, before he finally broke down.

His sobs coming out erratically, his eyes becoming blood shot from crying so much, his body shaking from anger and sadness.

It took one day for his life to fall apart, for his world to come crashing down right on top of him, taking all the air out of his lungs in the process. Forgetting how to breathe, too stunned, too subdued by all the pain.

He wasn't sure how long he sat in that spot, to him it felt like days, but it only had been a few hours.

Eventually he picked himself up off the floor, slowly walking around the apartment, noticing all the bare places where your belongings once were.

His eyes traveled to the coffee table where your favorite coffee cup sat, lipstick still on the rim of it from this morning.

He let out a deep sigh, before walking into the main bedroom, seeing how empty it was now without you, his eyes scanning the room until it landed on the closet, his eyes squinting as he made his way over, picking up one of your shirts that you loved to wear, that was also one of Harrison's favorites.

He sniffled quietly, clutching the article of clothing to his chest as he sat down on the edge of his bed.

As much as he wanted to drown all of this out, he couldn't, his heart and mind wouldn't let him because it was almost impossible to.

His mind kept wandering back to the good moments that you two shared in the apartment, how you both would stay up late at night just dancing to music, being goofy and having fun, or how you'd try and teach him how to cook, or how you both would spend some nights just cuddling on the couch, watching a game show.

His heart ached at the memories, something he would never be able to forget, even if you were no longer there physically.

The place still felt like you, had memories of you, still had certain items that you left behind that reminded him of you.

And as much as he wanted to be able to try and get over you, to move on and heal from the heartbreak, he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to.

Because there was always going to be that ghost of you in the back of his mind.

- :) -

apologies if there's no keep reading link, I put one in but Tumblr has been having some issues lately which is super annoying.

Permanent Tags: @fucking-reddie @httpmcrvel @tmrhollandkay @the-crime-fighting-spider @jugheadismyking @imnomundanenoramuggle @infinity-strange

Tagging some mutuals <3: @tomhollahoe @ballyhoobarnes @acciopeter @spiderbiteholland @starksparker @yoyococo18 @spiderboytotherescue

( I hope you don't mind if I tagged you! If you rather I don't please private message me! :) )

[wrotefootballficiregretnothing]

u guys, the best reviewer in my writing group left me a note about my "use of bodies* and body language to create meaningful imagery. [...] visuals that are so genuine and universal that we can get an emotion without cliché." And I blurted out: years of reading and writing about dudes who want to bang each other but tragically CANNOT will do that to you. So I kind of want to die, but also I kind of want to keep digging that hole all the way like: "Bro, you should try my much more talented friends who made me a better writer. I mean you're going to cry blood at Rave's stuff, but IT'LL BE WORTH IT!"